The Shugden Question
And that, my friends, is why I will not accept, acknowledge, or entirely embrace any Dharma center or living guru fully in this lifetime. Full disclosure, I am a Shugden supporter. I think that His Holiness is perhaps overreacting to what could have been a bad portend from the oracles that he consults (honestly, I don’t know why His Holiness listens to oracles uncritically anyway, but, this is in line with Dorje Shugden’s role in the universe of consciousness as the enhancer and trainer of perception and wisdom (and, it’s also a historical battle between His Holiness and Dorje Shugen as well, one being essentially an very special human incarnation, the other, being an aspect of Enlightened consciousness in the universe). It makes sense to me that these two would be fighting, one as the supreme teacher and guide amongst humans, the other, being the Supreme Teacher and Guide within the context of the universe. But look at the mess that is created when other beings get consumed by ego in these situations! Look at the mess that is created when both sides persecute another, and gets walled in by ones’ ego! The Sangha is broken up. People get led astray by the faults of the teacher, within the teacher (and themselves). Nothing gets accomplished. All is waste while both sides struggle it out amongst themselves, neither side using reason, sense, or compassion to guide them out of it. What’s worse, is that I know that I am no better than these high monks. I am just human, liable for everything that I do, speak, and think.
I am no better than these people; the best people among us. Look at what they’re capable of doing! Look at the messes that they can create! It honestly scares the willies out of me that I can, and likely will, do no better than these well trained monks, and that I can create suffering for billions, if not whole swaths of the universe, thanks to my actions and my mistakes.
In the end, I am just mortal. The universe is going to inflict upon me what it will, thanks to my past actions and mistakes, and present actions and mistakes. I’m tired of playing a game that I can’t seem to win and will more than likely lose for the sake of everyone and everything. I don’t want to actually hurt anyone, and I sure as Hell do not want to hurt myself through hurting others. There is no separation between myself and everyone else after all.
I’m scared. And I don’t know what to do about it.